+ It is a truth universally unacknowledged that the second a man realises how amazing a woman can be, the very same second, is the second a woman will realise how useless man truly is. These moments come in childbirth, they come in breastfeeding, they come in the display of strength females must exhibit to cope with birth and nursing and the road to recovery from both that come with the care instructions ‘get no sleep, forsake all privacy, keep that tiny human alive.’ Men are not, of course, useless, but in those moments it’s hard not to look at them and think ‘look at you with your useless nipples and your lack of stretch marks, you absolute bastard, all you had to do was get your rocks off and now I am ruined.’ The majority of us will only have these thoughts in fleeting, but you only have to log in to one mumsy Facebook group to learn that some women cast their men in the role of ‘another of my children’ forever more. Which must be exhausting, frankly. Who has the time?
+ Mastitis is worse than childbirth, that is a hill I am willing to die on. Childbirth results in a new squishy love to snuggle. Mastitis results in fiery lumps to beat out in the bath. And antibiotics. And timers set to remind you to take your antibiotics because what sleep deprived individual can remember to do something as basic as take a pill?
+ No-one prepares you for the heartbreak that is looking at your oldest child, and realising they are no longer your tiny baby. Where did that baby go? Who is this enormous toddler with his own wants, needs, desires and dreams?
+ Newborn cuddles make everything OK. Even the fact you haven’t slept for more than an hour and a half at a time since 24 hours before your body ejected said newborn. Even the criss cross of shimmery purple lines that now make a treasure map of your tummy. Even the knowledge you’re all out of cake. Chocolate orange cake, no less. With which you have ignited a torrid love affair that cannot and will not be tamed.
+ Love is not in limited supply. It is an ever expanding, endless spiral. As is guilt. Guilt over feeding issues. Guilt over juggling time for two. Guilt over one minute taken to use the bathroom alone. Mum life is a hard life, but the best life…
… And I have never felt more fulfilled ♡